Pleasing 4 Pets

A recent survey has revealed that the majority of women - almost two thirds in fact would opt to take out an insurance policy for their beloved cats and dogs before taking out insurance for their partners.

Lots of women are more concerned about the health and well-being of their domestic pets than that of their spouse. It also revealed the drastic measures that pet owners in the UK would be prepared to take in order to keep their much loved pets in perfect health.

I go against this statistic because I am not that much of an animal lover, I am allergic to animals so if I come close to one my chest gets tight, my asthma gets bad and my eyes puff up and become bloodshot. I would most definitely not risk my life to save a pet - they are just animals and a human life is much more important.

You can find your local authority by using the following link and inserting your postcode: Local Authority

Once you have explained the situation to your local authority dog warden, you are normally given a record sheet to fill in to keep a diary of the level of the noise, the time the noise occur most often, how long it goes on for and how it affects the people living in your house.

Sometimes a dog warden may want to install sound monitoring equipment in your house. The local authority dog warden will then analyse the results. When they have the results, the dog warden will be able to tell if the law is being broken and he will then go and visit your neighbours.

Training advice will be offered to the neighbours to stop the dogs from barking but if the noise persists after the owners have been given a deadline by which to resolve the problem, then an Abatement Notice can be issued. Finally if the barking doesn’t stop, your neighbours could be taken to court.

I have a neighbour who has a stupid dog which continuously barks, non-stop; it is enough to drive you insane. I used to hate the dog but have realised that it is not the dogs fault – my neighbour is out at work all day so the stupid dog is barking because it feels lonely and bored.

Other reasons dogs bark could be they are being neglected and have medical problems or they might simply be defending their territory. Alternatively, the owners may simply not know how to train them or they haven’t even bothered to try.

Whatever the reasons, it’s not acceptable so if the barking continues after you’ve spoken to your neighbours, then you should contact your local authority’s dog warden service.

In a previous post I mentioned that I have a neighbour who has a dog called Bruno who constantly barks. The best course of action if you have a neighbour whose dog persistently barks is to go around to their house and have a conversation to make them aware of the issue.

Your neighbour should then take some action to stop the noise, take the dog to special dog training, or play with the dog because it may be bored in the house all day by itself.

However, if the barking continues after you have spoken to your neighbours, then you should contact your local authority’s dog warden service.

I have just bought a house – it’s a quasi-semi, it is in a nice area and I have a large back garden filled with grass. The only drawback to my new house is my neighbour; I seriously think she has a screw loose. We can be lay in bed and the walls are quite thin so you can hear her on the phone which is really annoying.

The main issue I have with my neighbour is her dog, she picked him up from a dog home (which is very nice of her I hear you say) However, this dog (‘Bruno’ – we hear her screaming his name all the time) just doesn’t stop barking. Morning, noon and night as our walls are so thin – you can hear him all through the house. She has got rid of him once but now she has him back, I know that persistent dog barking is not acceptable by law but I will go round to her house first and explain the situation.

Does your cat’s breath smell like mouldy sardines and poo? That’s probably because they don’t clean their teeth. There’ll be bits of food from a week ago stuck there, and is only going to become dislodged by chance. And, oh yes, they clean their bottoms with their tongues. Nice.

Getting a cat sized toothbrush is pretty difficult, and harder still is finding cat friendly toothpaste and allowing your furry friend to let you stick a foamy stick in its mouth repeatedly. Go figure.

So, there are some wonderful treats for cats that brush their teeth whilst they eat. Whiskas dentabix are just one of the many varieties, and they really do work.

The new breath may not be minty fresh, or smell like roses, but at least it doesn’t smell of shit any more. That’s the key. And, no, I don’t think you can give them to your boyfriend in the morning.

Hamsters, given their small, chubby, scuttling selves, are actually quite resilient little critters. I had a hamster, called Louise, who had cancer.

Poor thing had a tumour on its face, on one of its pouches. It went into hamster hospital for an operation and had the tumour taken off.

The vets said that it would have a hole in one of its pouches but would quickly learn to eat in the other pouch. They didn’t know how long it was likely to survive.

To our surprise, Louise got better, and became her own lively self.

The only real difference was that she ate in circles, and span round until she got dizzy and feel over. Whoops.

She’d eat, and store food in both pouches. One pouch, however, was a big hole, so the food fell out. Once she’d eaten the food in her pouches, she’d notice the little pile of food to her left. So she’d eat that, and exactly the same would happen; a little less falling out each time.

It ended up that she just kept turning around – i think she got paranoid and though there was someone placing food just out of her eye line to taunt her. Poor thing.

Have plenty of sellotape, a lint brush or a sticky roller. At all times. A spare small blanket on the back of the sofa, a folded up towel by the bathroom radiator, removable cushions on your dining room chairs.

Cat lovers everywhere will love it when their feline friend curls up on their knee for a snooze. They will not love it when they get uip and find their long-haired calico has left a closely knitted thick layer of white fur on their trousers when they get up. It is a hazard of owning cats. But, if you’re prepared, it isn’t too much hassle.

The blanket: to put on your knee as soon as you cat jumps on the sofa.

The towel: a comfy sleeping place, and a towel you don’t mind getting trashed when you have to dry your tufty tortoiseshell after she comes in from the rain.

Removable cushions: so you don’t sit down to your breakfast in a smart black suit only to get up and look like your cat’s been sleeping on your bum for weeks.

Dogs are very responsive creatures: they play with you, cuddle you and generally just want to please you. If you find this all a little too difficult to discipline them, remember you can say wonderful things to them in an angry tone and they will still get the picture.

That’s why you can sometimes insult a dog, but making it sound like you’re about to say ‘walkies’ will have them chasing their tail around the kitchen or reaching for their lead immediately.

Likewise, you can tell them ‘Benson! I love you!’ as though you’ve said ‘Benson! Get off the settee!’ and you can feel better for not telling them off, but knowing that they will listen to you.

It may take some practise not getting tongue tied, but Good Luck!

Most cats pretty much look after themselves looks-wise. They may need drying off with a towel after they’ve been out in the rain, but they’re usually pretty good.

Long haired cats, however, get into all sorts of messy situations: twigs in the fur on their legs, knots on the side, ‘dreadlocks’ under their chin etc etc…

A pair of sharp scissors and a soft-bristled brush. The brush is pretty self-explanatory – run it through your moggy’s fur every week or so, to keep any monster knots at bay. If you do get a massive knot, just snip it out with the scissors: there’s no point hurting the poor thing by trying to brush it out.

The scissors are also for trimming that hair below the tail. Yep, around their bottom.

It isn’t always mud that clings on to that particular area of hair, so it’s on my kindest advice that you trim the hair to reduce the possibility of any… unwanted extras.